


Cold, cruel

by micasaessakusa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Warrior!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24622222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micasaessakusa/pseuds/micasaessakusa
Summary: Fate was cruel to the two of you. You lied and hid things from each other, but you'd never get the chance to make him understand just how willingly you would sacrifice everything for him. How you'd acknowledge that among the mountains of lies you lay at his feet, loving him was never one of them. That out of your years of regrets, he’s the one light that shone down on you to banish the darkness festering deep within your heart.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Cold, cruel

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for blood and death.

_Cold._

Snow is falling everywhere; its white reminding you of pureness, of untainted innocence like that of children. It reminds you of days that were simple and uneventful. Most important of all, peaceful.

A small thought crawls its way to your mind as you gaze at the night sky. It’s well around midnight, you surmise, but the heavens still appear to be shining down onto the earth.

 _Pathetic_ , you think, as you mull over why those living in that brilliant, breath-taking sky are called gods when they can’t spare some measly help to those who need it.

The ground remains cold against your bruised body, each falling snow chilling you to the core. You spare it little thought, however, for how could you complain about your situation when at least you still have a beating heart? How could you even begin to protest, when all around you, the ground is littered with the bodies of your fallen comrades, their blood spilling over the once white snow?

Your lids fall close and you whisper a prayer to the spirits of the earth to guide your dead brothers and sisters to the path of the light. They didn’t deserve the destiny handed to them, none of them did. It was a dark path, one less taken but one you would all choose all over again even with the high possibility of such an outcome.

Still, it hurts even if you've long since accepted such fate. Cruel, but some things in life have to be done no matter what.

The weight of boots crunching against snow breaks you from your stupor, but you keep your eyes shut, already knowing the identity of who’s approaching. 

"[L/N]," his voice greets you, ever stoic and unfeeling, cold as the crystals hitting the ground. It caresses your skin in ways you have long forgotten about, but you welcome the warmth his mere presence brings you.

Slowly, you open your eyes as his own guarded pair level you with a hard gaze. His face comes into view, him standing over your figure while the rest of his men stay a few ways behind, and the sight of him alone takes your breath away. You try your hardest to prevent any emotion from painting your face, however, and choose instead to let an amused smirk find its way to your lips.

You fight to hide just how much you long, no- _crave_ to be held in his strong embrace.

"Well hello, Sakusa," you call his last name, letting apparent false mock coat your words. You have to bite your lip in a pitiful attempt to keep your tears at bay.

An almost imperceptible sneer curls the edges of his lips, something that would be lost to the untrained eye; but not to you. _Not to you who knows him more than you know yourself_.

Not to you whom he trusted more than enough to bare himself at his most vulnerable.

Just as your chuckles bubble up your throat at his displeasure, a sharp drag of metal sounds through the vast field, its cry cutting the thick silence as he unsheathes his sword to point at your neck.

The tip pricks the sensitive skin on the column of your throat and you feel a drop of blood slowly trickle from the small wound. He then angles the blade to tilt your head so he could gaze at you properly. Fully.

And you gasp.

You gasp and your heart seizes from the emotions swimming in his dark brown eyes. Eyes usually unfeeling, now so expressive at the moment, it breaks your heart into tiny little unfixable pieces.

"You have disobeyed the rules of the palace, thus your existence shall be ended as due for your treason," he says stiffly and almost mechanically. He says as if he's addressing livestock or inanimate objects. 

He says it as if it's nothing, but you see it all in his eyes. You see it clearly, like the morning sky that one summer day when he first kissed you under the unyielding eyes of the cruel heavens.

There in his eyes, he reveals _everything_. 

His confusion, his anger and frustration, his internal conflict, his pain upon learning of your betrayal, his agony from being the one tasked to hand you your sentence.

It's there, all laid bare for you and you alone to witness.

How you wish it's all just a dream. That your Sakusa, _your Kiyoomi,_ is not looking at you with unbridled hatred in his eyes. That your decisions did not, do not hurt him still, like a blade driven repeatedly to his already beaten and bleeding heart.

With your entire being, you wish you were in a different place, living a normal life with him who has made you understand and feel what love is.

Every fiber of your being yearns to go back to simpler times, to more peaceful times, when it was just Sakusa Kiyoomi engulfing you with his warmth under the cloak of the night. Where it's just you and him, just him and you, where nothing else matters.

He doesn't understand why you did what you did. He would never get the chance to know why you betrayed him, and you would never get the chance to tell him of how real what you shared was, and still is; would never get the chance to make him believe that what you had was never pretend.

Fate was cruel to the two of you. You lied and hid things from each other, but you'd never get the chance to make him understand just how willingly you would sacrifice everything for him. How you'd acknowledge that among the mountains of lies you lay at his feet, loving him was never one of them. That out of your years of regrets, he’s the one light that shone down on you to banish the darkness festering deep within your heart.

Yet, despite him not knowing the truth, what shines through his eyes the most is his _love_ for you. An adoration you just know and feel in the bottom of your heart would stay with the both of you for however long.

And so, with your last strength, you offer him one final parting smile and a whispered confession of three little words as he drives down the end to your life.

Drawing your final breath, your mind fills with thoughts of the pain; the pain of him ending you, and the pain of being separated again from him. But the next second your world becomes entirely muted.

Light rivulets of tears running down his beautiful face is the last you see - a gift you know you do not deserve, before you fall into eternal sleep.

_It's cold, just like your destiny. Cold and cruel. But perhaps, the two of you would meet again, somewhere where your souls could be together forever._


End file.
